Hello fans, friends, and frenemies, and a very happy Dinovember to you all! If you’re celebrating the United States harvest festival tomorrow, we hope that it too is a pleasant experience for you, with a minimum of screeching and clawing at the table, and a maximum of delicious carcasses and entrails to devour.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ladies fans! In honor of the holiday, we’re bringing you a very special Fashion Raptors column. You see, our friend and Honorary Lady Gary had this blog years ago where he talked about some of his collectibles. His great passion is for Bobby Orr paraphernalia, but he’s no slouch at comic collection, either. A subset of that collection is romance comics – those treasured tales of the 60s and 70’s. Part of these books involved advice columns – the mostly teen, mostly girl readers could write in and lay out their romantic and other dilemmas for the book’s agony aunt to solve. Gary shared a few of these, and we thought that, beyond the historical interest, there was an opportunity here for the Fashion Raptors to weigh in with their own take on the questions. So here it is, the Fashion Raptors’ advice to the lovelorn, next to the originals. Enjoy!
I want to start off by apologizing that for the first time, I was unable to find appropriate comics for the recent Thanksgiving holiday. Not a lot of series out there have specific Thanksgiving issues, nor are there a lot about turkeys or something. If I have scandalized you by missing a really obvious book or story-line, let me know in the comments. Perhaps I can redeem myself next year.
Happily, Thanksgiving isn’t the only thing November has going on. And on the last day of the month, I am sliding into home with a post appropriate for Dinovember – comics that feature Dinosaurs. Here are just a few of my favorites.
In which our agony aunts, the Fashion Raptors (or Fraptors, as I like to call them) answer your questions on fashion, etiquette, and life in general. If you’ve got questions for our saurian sages, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll pass ’em along.
Hey readers. You may recall that previously The Red Menace put the word out that our lovely mascots, The Fashion Raptors, were interested in sharing some of their well thought out advice. Well, this week we let them take a crack at some of your concerns. Are they helpful? You can decide.
Dear Fashion Raptors:
I worry about the apocalypse (Ed: don’t we all?). We never know when the dead might begin to rise, some contagion might be released, or even what’s really in the Mariana Trench. While I don’t want to become one of those crazy preppers, I do feel like some sort of on-going level of preparedness isn’t the worst idea. Thoughts on footwear that is both fashionable and functional in the event of a total collapse of civilization?
Looks Like a Pump, Feels Like a Sneaker
You bring up a great point. Though we raptors don’t need to worry about shoes, we know that humans feet are fleshy and delicious….um, sensitive, and need protection. However that protection need not be unfashionable. Opinions on the best apocalyptic footwear may vary. But we feel you should have something durable, yet flexible, because face it, when alien overlords take over, you are going to need to run. Because of this, stay away from any high heels or wedges. While a running shoe is the ideal for this, they may not hold up to the rigors of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We suggested you focus on a leather shoe or boot, with a rubber sole and a little spring. A brand we suggest is Teva. They have some very fashionable options that can be worn daily and with either pants or skirts, so if you aren’t home and near your closet when the end of days comes, you’ll still be able to outrun the weaker and less informed members of the pack. Happy shopping….
The Fashion Raptors.
Dear Fashion Raptors:
I’m what you might call, “accident prone.” So accident prone that it’s been suggested that I just wrap myself in bubble wrap and be done with it. While this might be protective, I’m not sure it will look that great. Any suggestions?
We think we understand your issue.
There are a few directions you could go with this. We understand the bubble wrap might not be the most flattering of mediums; however, one of the nice things about bubble wrap is that it is clear. This means you could wear your favorite pants outfit or dress and have the bubble wrap as an outer layer. Think of it like the clear plastic protective cover on a sofa. Our grandma used to have those because it’s hell getting viscera out of upholstery. Here are some great examples of a dress, and a lovey two piece ensemble. Depending on your accident level you may want to add protective layers as appropriate.
The Fashion Raptors
Dear Fashion Raptors:
We hope you enjoyed The Fashion Raptors’ maiden voyage into advising. Send your questions, fashion-related or otherwise, to email@example.com, or post them to our Facebook page.